June

We have had one of the most peculiar starts to summer here in Chicago I have ever seen. Many days have felt more like San Francisco, than a great city in the Midwest.  Temperatures in the mid-to-low sixties have made jackets a friend, and a sweater an ally. Beyond making me grateful for warmer days of yesteryear, what this unseasonably mild weather has also done is reminded me of the power of faith.

I was sharing with my small group at church about how the weather, while milder than what I would like it to be has not discouraged me from my hopes and plans for the summer, because I have experienced June before, and I know that these blimps of cold weather will soon be followed by warmer, more seasonable temps. 

How do I know? -Because I have seen the promise of Mother Nature in the past.  This is not my first time experiencing colder temperatures in the summer, or having to put on a jacket in June because of unseasonably cold weather.  I know that this is just a passing state, and the promise of better weather is sure to follow.

Similarly, my faith in all situations can be learn much from my faith in the weather. Like this past June, we all experience “blimps” in our own metaphorical weather patterns, but just as sure as warmer days are promised to come, so too are better days yet to come if we use the promises kept of the past to sustain us in the present.

I recently read that, “victory is won through patience.”  I love that, just because it is sixty degrees one day in June does not mean I need to pack my bags because days of relaxing at the beach are not to come.  No, rather, I sit patiently prepare myself (and my calendar) for time and space for when the opportunity arise where the temperature is closer to eighty and shorts, sunglasses, and warmth by the beach presents itself.

I pray all that read this consider their own “June season” knowing that on the other side of this unseasonably cold weather, is the promise of warmer days if we have the spirit to endure, and the faith to sustain us in the meantime.

The Season of Summer

This is one of my favorite times of the year.  I love this season where the daylight last longer, the days are warm, and nights greet us in ways that can only be experienced in the summer.  For me, this time is a mark in a change of seasons (literally and metaphorically speaking).   In my book, I spoke about how I spent my first summer in Chicago working, and working, and working.  I said yes to everything and in doing so, relinquished the power of my no.

A friend of mine who just finished up his Masters degree called the time he was studying in school as a “season of sacrifice.” I agree, I have been in that season before. The season of sacrifice is that time where we work; knowing that the deeds we are planting will yield strong fruit in the future.  Well if I may take some liberties I would offer there are some other seasons beyond sacrifice…there are two other seasons that come to mind for me, there is the season of harvest and the season of play. 

I have accomplished a lot in a short amount of time on earth, and while I am proud of what I have done, it has not come without its cost.  Days playing at the beach, catching up on trivial pieces of pop culture, and spending days filled with unplanned activities are long-lost friends that I need to reintroduce myself to.  Some call this mix of work and play balance; I like to refer to it as the conscious exercise of making sure I stay on target with my purpose, by engaging in play when necessary to maintain my passion.

We all are invited to see what season we are entering into. As I write this blog, there is someone else who has spent long days of play, and feels restless knowing that the power of their potential has not been met. For that individual the season is different, it might be time to put down that US Weekly, or that margarita by the beach and pick up a book, a job application, or a pair of running shoes to make a lifestyle change.  For me, I have found the perfect indicator of when it is time for my season to change, its called jealousy.

Whenever I am jealous of the circumstances of someone else, I know my season needs to change.  I would go on social media and see friends having such fun, or strangers running along the beach as I drove home from work, both sights would make me enraged, I would ask myself,  “ how do they get to have so much fun when I am having to sit and do this, or do that”  - at the time I was agitated, now I am grateful. That jealousy was life giving me the greatest indicator that I was living in a season I no longer should be in. I was complaining not because of mandated responsibilities of my job, but because of volunteer experiences that I had signed myself up for. We all have seasons, and if you find yourself like me, and jealous of the position of someone else, don’t sit and stew in that energy, allow it to be the necessary fuel to find the courage to do something new.

I am pretty confident there are no gold stars coming my way in the months ahead.  I work in a field where there are numerous leadership opportunities, and I have served in several, but this is not the season for that.  I recognize as time goes on, I will not be the key figure at the table of many different areas that I hold interest in, and that’s ok. – its not my season.

Just as  winter comes after fall,  spring after winter, so too will come another season where sacrifice and work will be part of my life’s call, but for now, I sit…I take in my own season of summer, I begin the daunting process of untangling my worth from a laundry list of accomplishments. I sit. I grab a book, a margarita (perhaps two) and allow myself to bask in the season that is before me now. 

I Tried My Best

The other day, I received the nicest note about The Invitation to Love. The note came at the best of times, I had been having a week, where lets just say I was finding it very easy to be hyper self-critical. - that note though, served as a reminder of the fact that God offers daily the opportunity for us to see the love within our imperfections, those so called "flaws" serve to make us imperfectly perfect. Over the weekend, I was with family and my mom looked at an old picture of herself from 30 years ago, she said you know I was a pretty girl. -she said the words in such a way as if she did not know it at the time.

I think we can all relate to that, those moment where we finally look at the past version of ourselves not in constant guilt and regret, but from a place of pride and self-love. What I pray is that we can find the ability to do that in the presence rather than hindsight, in that ability pure and perfect power resides.

My ego happily offers me those areas of "constructive feedback" constantly of how I can be uptight, regimented, and judgmental - all those things might be true, but beyond ego, there is God who knows I am trying my best. It's the gift called Grace that we are given every minute of every day if we have the courage and self acceptance to receive it...it's the humble recognition that I am trying.

So, my goal now is this, is to look at the present and the past, accept my mistakes, and with eyes closed, take a deep breath and say, "God, I tried my best." -Amen.

Cheers!