Number Twenty-Three

Like me, I am sure you have heard the story of Michael Jordan being cut from his high school varsity basketball team in ’78, what I did not think about though, until recently, is the larger lesson there for us to consider when thinking about one of basketball’s all time greats.

In The Invitation to Love, I speak about possibility, and the idea of speaking to others potential.  I shared in one story about my fourth grade teacher, Mrs. Whitt.  Recently, I got a card from Mrs. Whitt after she learned that I had mentioned her in my book.  After all these years, the love I have for Mrs. Whitt and she has for me is still there. She spoke about how she was not surprised to find where I had landed in life, and spoke of her pride in me.

As I read the card, I reflected on my days sitting in her class, and I also reflected on the story of Michael Jordan.  Both my teacher and Jordan’s coach, I am sure, knew the power and potential that we both had to contribute to our respective field…for Jordan it was on a court, for me, a classroom.  –but what the teacher and coach did not do, was allow the potential and possibility of the future, to compromise the truth in the realities of today.  – that’s a lesson, a large one at that!

You see, I have mastered the practice of telling people they are great, my admiration in who they are, and my confidence in what they can contribute to the world. What I have not been as skilled at doing, is taking that possibility in potential and complementing it with descriptions of current day realities.

Michael and I were both people with potential, and we needed teachers (and coaches) who reminded us of the possibility of what we could become. Beyond the pep talks, encouragement, and hope in our future selves, what we also needed was realistic articulation of our current performance.  It does not serve Michael well to brag on his skills on the court, when in all reality he is not ready, and/or able to perform at his fullest potential. Similarly, it would not have served me well for Mrs. Whitt to say how bright I was, and not remind me that I was failing classes in school.

Life is all about lessons. Now, I pause before offering my praise of someone else. I question, am I speaking to their possibility while giving accurate space for their current reality, or am I glossing over areas of ineffectiveness, bolstering the ego of others, to the detriment of them having an accurate understanding of themselves.  Love is in the truth, and diluted versions of the truth are diluted versions of love.  With our kids, partners, and with ourselves, we need to take time to love ourselves enough to delight in our accomplishments, give gratitude in our potential, and at the same time remain humble like that famous number twenty-three and know when I current performance (or the performance of the ones we love) is not at varsity, its not their season, and practice off the court is required for their true greatness to emerge. 

June

We have had one of the most peculiar starts to summer here in Chicago I have ever seen. Many days have felt more like San Francisco, than a great city in the Midwest.  Temperatures in the mid-to-low sixties have made jackets a friend, and a sweater an ally. Beyond making me grateful for warmer days of yesteryear, what this unseasonably mild weather has also done is reminded me of the power of faith.

I was sharing with my small group at church about how the weather, while milder than what I would like it to be has not discouraged me from my hopes and plans for the summer, because I have experienced June before, and I know that these blimps of cold weather will soon be followed by warmer, more seasonable temps. 

How do I know? -Because I have seen the promise of Mother Nature in the past.  This is not my first time experiencing colder temperatures in the summer, or having to put on a jacket in June because of unseasonably cold weather.  I know that this is just a passing state, and the promise of better weather is sure to follow.

Similarly, my faith in all situations can be learn much from my faith in the weather. Like this past June, we all experience “blimps” in our own metaphorical weather patterns, but just as sure as warmer days are promised to come, so too are better days yet to come if we use the promises kept of the past to sustain us in the present.

I recently read that, “victory is won through patience.”  I love that, just because it is sixty degrees one day in June does not mean I need to pack my bags because days of relaxing at the beach are not to come.  No, rather, I sit patiently prepare myself (and my calendar) for time and space for when the opportunity arise where the temperature is closer to eighty and shorts, sunglasses, and warmth by the beach presents itself.

I pray all that read this consider their own “June season” knowing that on the other side of this unseasonably cold weather, is the promise of warmer days if we have the spirit to endure, and the faith to sustain us in the meantime.

The Season of Summer

This is one of my favorite times of the year.  I love this season where the daylight last longer, the days are warm, and nights greet us in ways that can only be experienced in the summer.  For me, this time is a mark in a change of seasons (literally and metaphorically speaking).   In my book, I spoke about how I spent my first summer in Chicago working, and working, and working.  I said yes to everything and in doing so, relinquished the power of my no.

A friend of mine who just finished up his Masters degree called the time he was studying in school as a “season of sacrifice.” I agree, I have been in that season before. The season of sacrifice is that time where we work; knowing that the deeds we are planting will yield strong fruit in the future.  Well if I may take some liberties I would offer there are some other seasons beyond sacrifice…there are two other seasons that come to mind for me, there is the season of harvest and the season of play. 

I have accomplished a lot in a short amount of time on earth, and while I am proud of what I have done, it has not come without its cost.  Days playing at the beach, catching up on trivial pieces of pop culture, and spending days filled with unplanned activities are long-lost friends that I need to reintroduce myself to.  Some call this mix of work and play balance; I like to refer to it as the conscious exercise of making sure I stay on target with my purpose, by engaging in play when necessary to maintain my passion.

We all are invited to see what season we are entering into. As I write this blog, there is someone else who has spent long days of play, and feels restless knowing that the power of their potential has not been met. For that individual the season is different, it might be time to put down that US Weekly, or that margarita by the beach and pick up a book, a job application, or a pair of running shoes to make a lifestyle change.  For me, I have found the perfect indicator of when it is time for my season to change, its called jealousy.

Whenever I am jealous of the circumstances of someone else, I know my season needs to change.  I would go on social media and see friends having such fun, or strangers running along the beach as I drove home from work, both sights would make me enraged, I would ask myself,  “ how do they get to have so much fun when I am having to sit and do this, or do that”  - at the time I was agitated, now I am grateful. That jealousy was life giving me the greatest indicator that I was living in a season I no longer should be in. I was complaining not because of mandated responsibilities of my job, but because of volunteer experiences that I had signed myself up for. We all have seasons, and if you find yourself like me, and jealous of the position of someone else, don’t sit and stew in that energy, allow it to be the necessary fuel to find the courage to do something new.

I am pretty confident there are no gold stars coming my way in the months ahead.  I work in a field where there are numerous leadership opportunities, and I have served in several, but this is not the season for that.  I recognize as time goes on, I will not be the key figure at the table of many different areas that I hold interest in, and that’s ok. – its not my season.

Just as  winter comes after fall,  spring after winter, so too will come another season where sacrifice and work will be part of my life’s call, but for now, I sit…I take in my own season of summer, I begin the daunting process of untangling my worth from a laundry list of accomplishments. I sit. I grab a book, a margarita (perhaps two) and allow myself to bask in the season that is before me now.