Grab Hold of Faith

Without faith, extraordinary things are not possible.  In biblical terms, faith is described as "the substance of things hope for, the evidence of things not yet seen (Hebrews 11:1)." Regardless of your religious (or non-religous) tradition, each of us is asked, or rather invited, to a place of faith if we are truly looking to see love manifest in our lives. 

The book, A Course in Miracles describes that often where we experience the most fear, is where love is also most present.  In simple terms, the ones we love the most, are those same people who we experience with the greatest amounts of fear. The only weapon to combat fear is faith. It is in that space of faith that we can show patience when intolerance seems permissible, where we show commitment in the face of the temptation to quit, where we offer compassion when the voice to attack is looming. It is in faith that we find solace when love's presence seems hard to find. It is in faith that we prepare our spiritual home for an intimate love, when there seems to be no resident in sight. 

Above all things, we are asked to have faith; for it is in our faith that we testify to our love for others.  All of us can find a mate: someone who is "safe" that does exactly what we ask, who follows every play in the rule book we have created in the sport of love, and who will give us every predictable outcome we desire. But to find a mate that stirs your soul, transforms you and your lived experience, well that will only be done by faith. Doubt , fear, and anxiety are the tools used by the ego to distract from the possibility and promise around the corner - so whenever the trifecta of doubt, fear, and anxiety come your way, grab hold of faith, knowing that the promise land of peace, joy,  abundance and love are eagerly awaiting your arrival after this chapter of learning and self-discovery is complete.

Emancipation

I remember when I first began dating as an adult, I would workout, stress about what to wear, stress about what to say, read books on dating – all trying to get to the place of perfection to woo the heart and affection of another. When a guy would not call, I would call; I would hound him to the point of being overbearing, self-sabotaging what could have been a naturally good moment and potentially a healthy dating situation because of my “smothering” behaviors.  Many times, my pursuits were reciprocated with interest. At those times, I would lose interest, no longer wanting to engage with the person and making up excuses for my behavior, when in actuality, I was not emotionally available myself.

This fear of abandonment resides in so many people, reflected in continuous questioning of our partners, and self-blaming /critiquing until we become a harbor of hate within ourselves. We look to a relationship, or the validation of a man or woman whom we deem cute enough, personable enough, or rich enough, to emancipate us from our self-hate, when in truth, the only person who holds the key to the prison of loathing we reside in is ourselves.*excerpt from the book, The Invitation to Love

*excerpt from the book, The Invitation to Love

The Power of Now

Thought leader, Eckhart Tolle wrote extensively about the power of now in his book of the same name, The Power of Now: A Guide to Spiritual Enlightenment.  I reference Tolle’s work in my own book, and I tell you, I found few others who can challenge my thinking like him.  The power of now is something I continue to trouble and the other day I had such a tangible impasse with that concept.

I was sitting in the office, working on some administrative task, and my mind just became filled with questions that began to populate my thoughts.  The more I stewed on the questions, the more I got filled with anxiety.  Questions like, what should I be doing in five years? What is the next step in my career? What is the next right step in a relationship? And others like, will I see change in “this” or “that” situation? -The same questions that can plague us all. 

I started breathing exercises, took a walk, and tried to distract myself, nothing seemed to work, until I went back to what best centers me in moments filled with question, that is to ask simply, “at this moment, what do I need to be doing?” Its such a simple question, one that is often easy to answer, and typically, we don’t want to answer it…because the answer is often not sexy, its not the big, bold, undertaking we are hoping for, typically the answer is, “check that voicemail that’s been on your phone for hours; study for that upcoming exam; call your accountant about your taxes; sort the laundry in your basket; or get up and hit the gym.”

When we ask the question, “what do I need to be doing right at this very minute” we are always given an answer, because life is lived in the now.   When we begin the practice of living in the now, we offer our declaration to be present, we demonstrate our ability to rely on faith, and we reaffirm our commitment to live in peace.

Will you find love?  Will you have kids? Will you receive that next promotion? These are all questions beyond our scope to answer.  What can be answered though, is what am I supposed to do now.  I find that when I give my power to now, rather than to an uncertain future, or a past, whose outcome has already been shown, I am often gifted with an answer to those big questions that goes beyond my scope to imagine.